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Sometimes, I’m scared.

January 31, 2012 By 61 Comments

When I went through postpartum depression, I kept telling myself never again. We won't have anymore kids because I will not, can not go through this dark hell again. Now that we are expecting baby #3, sometimes I'm scared that it'll happen again... I feel like my family is more aware now, of the signs, of what to look for, so that if I do slip into a depression it won't be a severe as last … [Read more...]

Becoming the best mom I can be…

September 15, 2011 By 138 Comments
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While nothing can truly prepare me for motherhood, no amount of books I read or advice I listen to, I take steps every day to become a better mom. Simple steps: taking vitamins. In the beginning, when we first saw those two little pink lines, I began a regime of prenatal vitamins. They provided key nutrients vital to a healthy pregnancy and baby. The health of my baby was extremely important, so … [Read more...]

I was a bad mom.

April 9, 2011 By 31 Comments

It has taken me some time to blog again about my postpartum depression days, days which I pray are far behind me. I tried to be open about my PPD with hopes that it would help the recovery process. And it did. I am good, really good. But, I wasn't always good. I was a bad mom. I can admit that now. Finally. The first 9 or so months of Lukes life are such a blur, a nasty, hellish blur. … [Read more...]

Numb.

October 9, 2010 By 25 Comments

Today? Was not a good day, at all. It was one of the worst days I have had. Anything that could go wrong, has. It has just been an absolutely awful day.Lucas wanted to be a party [cranky] baby and stay up until 4ish in the morning. It was awful. I had no patience for him, whatsoever. Then DH and I got into a huge fight because of my lack of patience. I felt like a monster. I wanted to throw Lucas … [Read more...]

Working on "Me"

September 21, 2010 By 18 Comments

I had a major #mommyfail last week. It hit me that I spend way to much time on twitter or blogging, and not enough time being a mommy. I used to only blog during nap time or bedtime, but now that time is consumed by the massive amounts of homework I have so I let Adam watch TV in exchange for blog time... I have a twitter app on my iPhone, so it's really quick and easy to tweet on the go... But … [Read more...]

Thankful on a Tuesday…

September 14, 2010 By 9 Comments

With all the things my family and I have been going through, I haven't taken the time to be thankful for what we do have and how blessed we truly are. It's really hard to stay positive through out all the negativity so I need to remind myself to be thankful. So here is just a few things I am thankful for this week...I'm thankful that Adam loves his new bunk beds and that he slept all night in it … [Read more...]

Gah I’m SO Angry!

August 29, 2010 By 11 Comments

I need a chill pill, seriously! I don't know why (ppd-maybe?) but I have so much anger and resentment towards everything lately. When I try to "be happy" it's really hard because I feel like I want to be angry. Which is silly, because I don't want to be angry, I just am.Sometimes, I want nothing, at all, to do with my kids. Because I am so angry. Not necessarily with them, but just in general and … [Read more...]

A Dark Cloud

August 19, 2010 By 55 Comments

If you are family, please STOP reading now. Thanks :)Ok... So I've been debating whether or not to even write this post, but my doctor says it may be helpful, like some kind of therapy, so here goes nothing..I have post-partum depression.I NEVER thought it would happen to me. I LOVE being a mama. Love it, best thing in the world. But? I didn't choose PPD. It chose me. I always thought mom's that … [Read more...]

Gotta love these baby blues

February 28, 2010 By 3 Comments

I feel bad as a sit here writing this. I feel like a bad mommy. For the record, I, in no way, shape, or form, regret my baby boy. Lately I have just been feeling down. Sad. Depressed. It's nothing major, and I know "this too shall pass." I find myself crying over the silliest things. The other day I was sorting and putting away A's clothes and I started crying. I was thinking how big he is getting … [Read more...]